How would her life have been different if she'd known then she had only three more years to live? Known that, at thirteen, three-quarters of her life was behind her?
What a gaping chasm between 2004 and 2009. Continuity smashed. Four innocent numbers scrawled on the back of a photograph. Not so long ago, and yet infinitely remote. It was a different universe then.
4 comments:
Packing boxes always puts me on memory lane too.
I don't know wether she would have lived a different year for those last years. I don't think so because at that age you try to get the maximum out of everything in any case. The feeling that there is nuance and grey area, that some things are relative, comes much later for most people. For most pubescent kids the moment feels eternal and every choice seems for life.
You may be right. And in any case, she definitely lived in the moment, never seeing the consequences of her actions--even immediate consequences, like getting in trouble for coming home too late.
But I do think it's a blessing not to know when you're going to go. You could argue that if you do know, you can make sure you do the things that are really important to you (and we feel that way about her last months). But in the big picture, I think living life as though you still have plenty of time makes it richer and more satisfying.
Obviously there are aspects of this story that I don't know, didn't know until now...but this small little post touched me, deeply.
I have friends who are (were) diagnosed with terminal cancer. It didn't (doesn't) make their last periods very different.
I used to think that if I got that kind of diagnose I would definately do all the things I craved for. Adventures, far journeys, visiting the people I really love... But having seen what really happends I think most people go on with the life they had, because for most people that is the way they prefer things - or, if they don't prefer it - it takes longer (and more energy) to change it than it's worth for them.
The people we love we usually still have contact with, the people we want to be closer too aren't gonna be BFF's in a few months, so more than the wanted holiday is not on most people's list in real life.
I used to have a poster on my wall with Snoopy, saying 'pluk de dag, maak plannen voor morgen, vier feest vanavond'. That actually still is the motto I aim for.
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