Sexual Spamphemisms

My spam filter weeds out most of the mail I receive from terminally ill Nigerian v!*gr@ junkies before I see it, but I check through my litterbox daily to make sure no babies get tossed with the bathwater.

That's a job that's become downright entertaining the past few days. For, dear reader, how many ways can you say "stick your penis in her vagina"? Hmmm? How about:

Put your sword in her scabbard

Push your banger inside lady

Drive your love torpedo into her tanker

Ram your Peter the Great into her love hole

Push your hoo ha dilly up her cha cha cha

Explode your love bomb in her blast chamber

Slide your pipe down her drain

Pump your gas to her engine

Put your willy in her nilly

and my personal favorite, if only because it makes no physical sense at all:

Slide your doughnut in her oven

What man wants his pecker referred to as a doughnut?